CHERISHED & NOURISHING FAILURES

By Joshua Cherian Varughese

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and mixed with sweat stuck to most of his visible body as if a woman in her lust, His veins came out like stretched bows ready to shoot the arrow as he looked at the pole with a grimace on his face. There was no confidence in his teary eyes but there was that undefeatable attitude in his eyes which shouted  “I’m gonna do this damn thing!!”. He bent down as if to break into a sprint. Then he let the backward leg slip a little bit before his forward leg took his weight. The next step was sure and so was the next and the one after that. He was in full speed by then, his head slightly bowed but his teary eyes were still on the pole that he had to cross. He knew he had never even tried it before but he just had to do it for whatever reason he did not know. His friends had advised him to take a diagonal run up and try a scissor cut which everyone else was doing. But he somehow could not digest that again for whatsoever reason he did not know. He ran head on to the pole like a ram meeting its rival in a fight. The pole was near, he knew this jump was his last chance. He had cleared many heights earlier but had missed the last two which were attributed to the awkward style in high jumping against the tried and tested methods. He knew he needed to clear this height to get at least the third place..the pole came nearer. It was a split second away now. He took a jump at least a foot away from the usual jumpers and went head first to the pole, his head crossed, belly crossed but the legs tripped on the pole and it went down with a clamor and echoed in the ground.

His face was in the sand, sweat dripped down his sand filled brows. He lifted his head in utter disappointment of not doing well in his first attempt at athletics. The pole was lying dead as it is in the sand but to his amazement people were clapping.  He could hear people occasionally saying “He goes like superman”. He went down to the place where the run up starts and saw his name being cut from the list of jumpers who’d proceed to fight for positions.  The school vice principal was standing there and he had a proud look on his face. He patted MY back and said “Well done”. I did not understand why he would appreciate a loser nor did I know why anyone was clapping even when the pole fell. I did not know that when people would see me on the way they would whisper to each other saying, “this is the guy who high jumps like superman”. Little did I know what lesson I would learn that day, that day made an impact so deep that it etched a nourishing wound in my heart for good. That day taught me to lose and to lose in style; to put the thousand and first effort and then lose with flying colours. That day taught me to lose and lose and lose but never be defeated. That day taught me to say “never” to giving up.

That day was my first day on training which taught me to push hard and harder until my perception of my limit extends further and further. The hot afternoons that I roamed in the sun, the kilometers that I walked without ever complaining, the days I went without quality food, amenities  are attributed to that training which started on that day, that which continued into several school & college, state & national athletic meets covering a span of almost ten years in my life. That overshoot which budded on my life that day led to those valuable days surrounded by smell of volini, sound of spikes piercing grounds of different colours and the taste of sand and sweat in our mouths. Those days when blood heats up to such temperatures that you feel that you are gonna explode in that excitement, those were days of action and little words. I’m afraid the days of words has started and I don’t like it!!